Basically me during summer holidays
So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.
AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..
People like grapes.
anal sneezes are cute as shit
sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time
this is not what i want to be remembered for
im never gonna get married and im gonna sleep with ten billion people
THAT’S 4 BILLION MORE PEOPLE THAN THERE ARE ON THE PLANET
not if you include the dead
Why limit yourself to this planet?
Why limit yourself to people?
I’M GOING TO FUCKING PISS HOLY SHIT
Pissing holy shit must be a weird experience.
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mom: dinners ready
i’ve had tumblr for years and i still don’t know what the fuck an rss feed is
*owns tons of clothes*
*wears same three things*
why ride a rollercoaster when you can ride me
Because rollercoasters can actually make me scream.
This message about smoking and instructions on how to perform CPR brought to you by Gavin Free.